Although we live in a less formal world where pretty much anything goes when it comes to setting your table, it is always best to start with a knowledge of the proper way to do anything. Once you understand the proper etiquette of how to set each place setting you can manipulate it to achieve your preferred style.
This image is a fantastic straight forward approach to learning the Formal and Informal versions.
This biggest change most people make to the Formal setting is reducing the number of glasses. Most do not have enough glasses or table space to allow for three per guest. In most situations one wine glass and a water glass will work just fine.
Next change would be the bread and butter plate & knife, and for similar reasons as the glassware, quantity and lack of space.
A tradition that is often skipped which will actually save you time and space in the long run is the dessert fork and coffee spoon placed above the plate. By placing these two pieces right from the start you have saved a step in between courses. After dinner simply clear all flatware on the sides of the plate, slide the dessert course flatware down to each side and you are ready to serve your pie!
As mentioned, our society is becoming less and less formal on a daily basis however, during the holidays I find it is nice to take a tip from the past and set the table with a slightly more formal touch.
My advice? Learn the rules first then bend them, do it well with purpose & beauty and your guests will not question you. {or at least you will have the knowledge to respond correctly if they do!}
Most important, Enjoy~ krayl
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